Something...

Maybe it's me, or rather something about me. Maybe the something is nothing. I'm not sure anymore to be honest. I know that I often feel that something is missing though, as if I am incomplete. I don't know exactly how to identify that void. All I can think is that I do not belong. I have yet to find that place that is made for me. I no longer have a home to which I can return when my world collapses all around me. I have only a room in a place that I rent. My family, small though it may be, is not only a bit scattered, but has also become somewhat of an enigma this past year. My world has changed drastically, and I cannot seem to find a place to rest. It is as though I am constantly treading water. Occasionally someone will come along, and I think perhaps this person is different. Maybe he's safe. Maybe I can cling to him. This has yet to be true. They're all the same, and I remain just another girl to each of them. I realize that this bears no reflection on my worth as an individual. It's just that I want to be chosen by someone. I want a place to finally just be. I want that security. I don't want to go it alone anymore. I want something more. As patience is not a virtue that I really seem to possess, perhaps God is trying His hardest to teach it to me. Most days I am completely fine. Others, ahh...what I wouldn't get to have a place to call home.