Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Things I hate...well, maybe not "hate", but I at least strongly dislike...

1. Red and yellow bell peppers...but I am quite fond of the green ones
2. Cankles...I hope to never have them
3. Foods that jiggle...although I am strangely fascinated by them too
3. Mushrooms...they just feel funny
4. Spam...'nuf said
5. Boys in skinny jeans...it's just not okay, and I'm certain it could impair procreation
6. Rude people...does this really require an explanation?
7. Yellow soft drinks...I don't have an explanation. I just think they're vile.
8. Doughnuts...ew, ew, ew. fat, gross and = jiggly butt. no thank you
9. People who spell doughnuts as "donuts"...I have issues with poor spelling skills
10. Boys who tell me that I'm interesting...that's really another whole blog posting...maybe later
11. People who feel the need to tell me how artsy/cool/free spirited/hard core/etc they are...let your game speak for itself sucka
12. Cheap paper products...once you go Viva anything else is uncivilized

That's all I can think of currently, but I'm sure to add more.

Maybe margaritas and lonely hearts aren't the best combination...

As I was driving home tonight, I begin to realize that there is a deep yearning within my heart to have a husband...or at least a significant other. Why? Well because I want to matter to someone. I want to be more than a pretty face or a silly giggle. I want someone to know me fully and love me in spite of some parts of me and for others. I don't want to be lonely anymore.
Now I know that I must first be okay with who I am and be content with God alone, and I am, but that doesn't mean that I do not still have this insatiable desire to be loved. Like anyone, I must patiently bide my time. Some days my heart is simply heavier than others. Today is one of those days.
I drove home sort of in a trance...granted that is partially due to a margarita and a half coupled with my poor drinking skills, but that aside, I just kept thinking and wondering if I will ever be more than just another girl to anyone. I have no answer to that question. I can hope and dream, but at the end of the day, I am still alone, and my heart is tended to by my God only. That is enough, but there is still an emptiness...a yearning to be significant to someone.
Today is not my day for that. Perhaps someday will come...