home...not necessarily a geography exactly. not quite a specific person. no i think it's that overwhelming sense of peace, the sort where at last, your soul is at rest. when i feel a wash of quiet bliss, a transcendent peace, and a wide-eyed wonder...i know i am home. for me, that is largely a specific geography...my mountains in north carolina. there i can sit and simply be in awe of splendor and beauty surrounding me. i can turn off all the whirlwind thoughts. i can simply be. it is there, nestled in those grand and rocky crags that i know all is well and right with the world, even if but for just a moment. it is there that i can be free from all encumbrances of the everyday. life is not weighty or complicated there sitting by a blazing fire looking out over the rolling hills speckled with trees. there all my worries are washed away by the sound of the waterfall tumbling down the smooth, time worn rocks and boulders. there i have found my home.

Lately I've been considering the idea of being "right". Not that I'm against being right, regardless of a given situation, in fact, I yearn to be right, and often find that I am precisely that...right. But at what cost? What is it worth to be right? The more I think about it, the less I think being right is really all it's cracked up to be. Maybe I've become a bit of a pacifist over the years. Or perhaps I simply no longer see the value in fighting an uphill battle. I'm not entirely certain to be honest, but I have come to a firm understanding that being right most often comes at a cost. Now maybe it costs me personally very little. But what does it cost the other person? Or actually, what might being right cost me on a personal level? Recently I've seen how being right in an argument or dispute costs people greatly. They lose sight of their character and integrity quite expediently. Suddenly all notions of a moral compass are gone as quickly as dandelion seeds blow in the wind. And with that...all is lost. Being right immediately loses all value. Yes, certainly, in a very superficial, fleeting way perhaps being right has some merit...some worth, but in the long run, when character and integrity are lost, the value of being right is less than nothing. I have closely watched the actions of those in authority over me in the passing weeks and months and have been met with little more than extreme disappointment and frustration. While I'm well aware that at times people get angry and frustrated and often it is difficult to refrain from allowing emotions to take over, I have, much to my dismay, been witness to complete disregard for others, total disrespect, immaturity, and an utter loss of character and integrity. Sadly I must admit people on my own team have acted in these ways, and truly it is nothing short of humiliating. I am horrified at the way my coworkers have treated others with such utter disregard for given trades and with a complete lack of understanding for the work that must be complete. To my horror, people have been cursed out and bad mouthed, and when the recipients of such behavior have apologized for the part they played in the act, they were met with nothing more than a callous "OK"...not even an "I'm sorry too." But this is the way of the world in which we live. As sad as it may be, this is the rule, not the exception. But I then think back to St. Francis of Assisi and his wise words to preach the gospel always, and only when necessary to speak words. So I shall continue to go about the business of life and do my best to maintain a calm spirit and to react with kindness, compassion, respect, and understanding. I'll choose this because if being right costs me my integrity, then I'd rather be wrong.