Rescue

The first line of the Tonic song "Sugar" says "Come on baby put your shoes on. Looking like you need a rescue [...]" Ryan Adams sings about the "Rescue Blues". I never thought of myself as the girl who got to be the princess rescued from the tower. Growing up I always played cowboys and indians, and the other girls got to be the damsels in distress while I ran around with my brother and the other boys. In high school I was quiet and mostly kept to myself. In college, I was even more reserved except with a very select group of friends. Now I'm more open, but I am incredibly independent...to the point that it's actually not a good thing. Hmm...which that may actually be why I've found myself in this position come to think of it.
What I'm referring to is my strong desire to be rescued...to not be alone...essentially just to be loved. I hear all of these songs these guys have written for these girls. I wonder if the girls have any idea what they have and if they do I wonder if they appreciate it. Do they know what it's like on the other side-to be alone and always do everything themselves? To not have that shoulder to cry on or that embrace to hide in when the storms come? To come home only to a pile of books and to know characters in movies better than they know most people? To find solace only in a song that isn't even for you? To wear a mask in the world of a pretty happy girl but at home to sink into a somber, melancholy version of the girl they might be?
I have a vague notion that perhaps a love like no other is waiting for me...waiting to be unlocked from it's warm, soft sepulcher. For some reason it is not yet time for me to escape this dark and heavy past of mine. Perhaps it is to teach me to lay down my pride and beg for help...to learn that while hell may be other people, I do in fact need those people in my life. Maybe I am too impatient and when I learn my lesson, perhaps there will be a reward. Or maybe there is no reward at all, but I am to live this life simply because it is the cards I've been dealt. I'm really not sure at all. The only thing I am sure of is that I feel like the girl in the song, and I need a rescue.