Free to breathe

I was sitting home alone last night flipping through an old, barely used journal. I had written in only maybe 3 pages so I decided to read those pages and see what had been going on at the time. The funny part is that the notes were from almost exactly a year ago. They were from the beginning of August 2010. At that time, I had just obliterated my ex-husband in court for being in contempt following him intentionally putting our house in foreclosure to ruin my credit. Let me tell you, it felt amazing when that judge told him to grow up and be a man and accept responsibility for his actions. The less awesome part is that to enforce the judge's ruling it would cost me thousands of more dollars that I don't have, nor do I care to spend dealing with someone as pathetic and worthless as my ex. Those words sound harsh? Good. They should. It's fitting.

In the midst of all my courtroom drama, financial stress, and constantly working at 2 jobs, one which I loved and one that I abhorred, I was left feeling as though I might suffocate at any given moment. There wasn't a second of peace to be found anywhere. No respite for the weary and brokenhearted. The win in court was worthless. I still got hit with the foreclosure, ruined credit, and thousands of dollars of debt to pay off all thanks to my delightful ex-husband. Then my car died. Then a car I borrowed from my mom got totaled. It literally was just one thing after another. Never enough money. Never enough time. And barely enough air to breathe.

But it's over now. Really it is. I'm on the cusp of something great. Something that just might resemble a real life. A new house, new car, and new job...all within a few months. And here I sit a year later ready to take on the world. Finally it's my turn to get what I have been working so hard to earn for so many years. I can really and truthfully walk away from all the bullshit of the last few years and let out a sigh of relief. Like in the book, finally I am able to just shrug. :)