it's strange sometimes the realizations you have in a seemingly random moment. i don't think they're random at all though. i think we know the answer all along, it's just in a moment that we choose to recognize it. in my own life i think this is true anyway. the answers often are there, right in front of me, but instead of looking directly in the looking glass, i try to peer through it and make things what they aren't. like alice, i'd rather slide down in the rabbit hole. it's funny, tonight brittney said,"you like nothing more than to get lost by yourself." i hadn't thought of it that way before, but she's right. even if getting lost means nothing more than roaming around the mall alone, looking at the pretty things and watching all the people. i like the aloneness. i relish my quiet solitude, even if it's found in the middle of Manhattan. i am alone, and there is peace and independence in that. sometimes i want to share the joy i find in those times with others, but i'm afraid it would be lost on them, as the fun of something like a football game is wasted on me. so that may be my answer...my beloved solitude