Back and forth, to and fro-such is the state of my mind right now. As I've said before, I miss the me whom I used to be. I wonder if that quiet, pensive girl is still dwelling somewhere in the midst of my chaotic day to day life, or has she gone by the way side and been replaced by work and responsibility? Is that part of me dependent on someone else? Does that piece require another half that isn't present without the right other person around? I used to sift through pages and pages of philosophy and theology for hours on end, toiling with my thoughts, beliefs, and fears. Now I sit, dumbed down, watching pointless TV shows or scrolling through fashion blogs feeding my love for absurdly priced footwear. While that's all well and good, I wonder at times if the girl of substance is still around. I miss her. I miss the sweet serenity of sitting with my thoughts and sorting through them no matter the chaotic manner in which they present themselves. I miss the hollow melancholy and swells of music that once filled not just my room but also my head and heart. Where to go to find them again? Where to find that peaceful space?