Great Expectations

"That was a memorable day to me, for it made great changes in me. But, it is the same with any life. Imagine one selected day struck out of it, and think how different its course would have been. Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation of the first link on one memorable day."
- Charles Dickens, Great Expectations


Now I sit here contemplating the idea of what my life may look like were it slightly different...if in fact "one selected day [were] struck out of it." My how it could potentially be so different. But in its differences, would it better, more ideal, or in fact might it be less fulfilling than what it is today? If I pause and think of how my life may be different if, perhaps my father had never passed away, the end result is a striking contrast to reality. I am certain I would have been spoiled terribly and not at all been forced to learn to be responsible and self sufficient. My mother would not have been a widow for fourteen years, nor would she have her new family with her new husband and his children. Perhaps my brother would not be quite so sad if he had had his father around to look out for him and guide him. It is possible that I would be far less cynical than I sometimes prove to be, and even a plausible notion that I perhaps never would have married the man I did and then divorced. That would be changing a day in my life...

I think though that I would not change a thing about my life. I am grateful for all of my experiences whether they are good or seemingly bad. I have learned from them all, and I believe myself to be a better person for all of it. I like my life. I like the person I have been allowed to become through circumstance and choice.

I am completely unsure of what my future may hold. Perhaps a husband and a family, perhaps some incredible career, fame, fortune, or maybe more death, perhaps poor financial means, but maybe true love. Whatever may come, I have hope for the future. And regardless of circumstance, I pray that I choose to view every situation in a positive light, with great expectations of what is yet to come. For no matter how dismal a day may be, there is something to be learned; there is way to grow and become a better version of me.