Uncertainity

I realize that everyone deals with the issue of uncertainty, whether it be in relationships, jobs, the future, or whatever else. I know that I am not alone in this, but that doesn't give me much comfort to be honest. I don't know if it's a matter of fear of the unknown or a lack of control that bothers me so much. Either way, I could nearly drive myself crazy thinking about all the things in my life that are a bit, well, uncertain.

First of all, there is the question of what to do with my life. I have this second chance now, and I'm just not quite sure I should do with it. I don't know if I should stay in Atlanta, or perhaps I should take a dive and move somewhere else and start a brand new life with a fresh change of scenery. I'm leaning toward the latter option. The problem there is the fear of moving and not having a job yet, which I just don't think I can manage to do that. Also, I know a few people in Charlotte, the city of choice, but not a ton. Starting over with friends is hard. My family is there which is a definite perk, but there are problems there too. Those problems bring up issues and hurts from my past, and I fear that I may get sucked into that mess again, which cannot happen.

If I stay here though, what am I staying for? I have 2 jobs here, and I know a lot of people. I like my church. And, that's it. I'm not living a real life though. Not the life I want. Will moving change that? Maybe.

Then I overanalyze relationships too. I can't just sit back and let things naturally unfold. I want to know, and I want to know now. How obnoxious is that? I mean really, that's just annoying.

So, I need God very badly to give me clear direction. I need a mountain to conquer. I need some peace and some clarity. I am seeking it with all of my heart. I want to succeed. I do not want to be left simply wandering through life. I want and I need a purpose.