i'm not sure if anyone has figured this out yet or not, but i'm a very literal person. i don't always pick up on jokes, particularly via text message as i can't ascertain a person's tone, and i generally assume anything a person says is as matter-of-fact as i am, not figurative at all. this can occasionally pose a problem in conversations or my understanding of a concept. this is particularly true in theology as it is such a vague and vast concept. that being said, when i am told to do something, i genuinely want to do that thing, whatever it may be, to the best of my ability and with a full understanding of that which i am doing.

so last night when we were told a large part of the Lenten season is forgiveness, i began to think about that notion. if you read through the Bible, we are told multiple times to forgive others. that's all well and good, but practically speaking, i have no idea what that means. there is no guidebook for how to do that. people quote quintessential churchy quips like "let go and let god" but really, does anyone have clue what that means in real life??? i certainly don't.

when jesus forgives us, my understanding is that it is the act of cancelling a debt owed to god because of our sin. the same understanding applies to forgiving another person, well sort of. i have a few questions about that.
1. we do not have the power to cancel another's debt before god. to think we do seems nothing short of extreme arrogance
2. even if i had that power, i still don't know what that looks like in my life.


i can sit and talk all day long about how i forgive someone's so called trespasses against me, but i still remember what the person did. i still approach the person cautiously like a child who has been bitten by a dog. so have i really forgiven the person? what is the marker for having completely forgiven someone? and if i forgive someone am i truly tasked with also forgiving the deed that begs forgiveness in the first place?