Freedom

in the past few days, weeks maybe, i've had the privilege of speaking with some very kind, patient, and loving people. to be honest, i have been overwhelmed by their kindness and patience, and i have truly had to swallow a fair amount of pride. i'm okay with that part. i don't mind being wrong, in fact i rather welcome it. if i'm always right i don't learn anything anyway.

so as i've been going to church again as of late, the whole experience has really required me to swallow quite a bit of my pride...which, as the old tale goes, humble pie isn't particularly delicious. however, as i've put myself out in this uncomfortable situation, i've found that i am welcomed with open arms by a group of people who patiently cover me in love regardless of the thoughts and questions swirling about in my head. they have no concern as to whether or not i believe the right or wrong theology. they aren't interested in what i may or may not have done. their sole interest lies in loving me just as i am. all of this has derived out of the death of my beloved friend. to think that this, the legacy she has left, is that she is the tie that binds all of these unique and beautiful people together astounds me. i then wonder, what will my legacy be? i've said before that i hope it's that i love people well. this experience has encouraged me to work harder to ensure that is exactly what i do.

and then...then i was told that despite all of the events, recent or in the distant past, this life isn't about getting it right. the longer i sit with that notion, the more peace i find in it. thank you for telling me that friend and sharing your honest thoughts with me. in that there is a great freedom that before seemed so far out of my grasp. i fought so hard to be perfect and thought these questions were so wrong...and you just gave me the ability to be free and unashamed of my doubts and concerns. what a beautiful thing and what a blessing.