I am truly disappointed when the dark of night is rudely interrupted by the break of day streaming across my windows. In fact I long to stay enshrouded in that cool, dark, velvet wrap of endless stars and black wonder. It is in this space, where I, in my solitude, am at the same time surrounded by countless angels...my thoughts that meander throughout the deepest caverns of my mind. It is strange perhaps how in this seemingly desolate place, I am simultaneously the most and the least lonely imaginable. My thoughts and questions ceaseless as the ocean tide, washing away the sand from the endless shores. To and fro, the angels in my head rock me back and forth, rarely idling long enough for sleep to take hold and whisk me away. Even in my dreams innumerable queries and ideations seem to envelope every bit of my being. Down, down, deeper and deeper, into the rabbit hole I go. No Alice to follow, and no Cheshire Cat to welcome me with a grin. But it's my own wonderland into which I delve, into which I find peace amongst the wild things and creations that lie therein. There I am truly at home, in the safety of my own inner sanctum where no one can take away my freedom of thought or exploration.

For these reasons I long for the thick cozy haze of dense cloudy days. I often despise the sun and it's cheer as I long for the comfort of my deepest thoughts...that seem to be run off by the sun's garish glare. I seek to cloak myself in the soft, warm veil of my own demons. I know them for they are my own darkest secrets and desires. I know where they will go, and if I so desire, I just may follow. Otherwise, I pine away for the days that seem to be endless nights; the crisp, cool air of a black, black winter's eve; the warmth over my whole body as the scotch fills my veins and at last I am alone with my music, art, and thoughts.