i've been learning a lot lately, about humility, beauty, history, relationships...the list goes on, and in the end, all roads lead back what i've been searching for all along-the freedom to live my life, ask my questions, pursue beauty, and to love. and to my own awe and delight, it seems perhaps i've found it. yes, my questions will go on for the rest of my life. i'm a curious girl. i like to ponder ideas and concepts and explore alternative ways of thinking. i believe there is much to be learned in doing so. but i can sit here now and write this because i finally laid down my sword; laid it down and walked far away from it. i learned to choose my battles and that fighting against a God who would create such lovely people, such intriguing history, and beautiful sounds and sights to behold, just isn't worth it. i ran and fought for too long. i hope to let go of all i've kept so close and tight that has prohibited me from experiencing this freedom to the fullest extent. i am glad to find a place to belong and to learn along side such loving, compassionate, wise, and brilliant people. some may call it good fortune. i don't think so though. i think it was the strategy all along. i was just too prideful and self-absorbed to realize it.
i am a quick study. once i learn something, i get it. i may not always be able to describe it verbally, but in my own mind and heart it clicks. such is the case with this. there are no words that i know to clearly describe what i've learned, the understanding i've gained, but it is there. locked in. i get it. so thank you to you all who have walked alongside me, patiently waiting, letting me fight, and letting me come to my own terms with this all. your patience and love have played an insurmountable role in my experience thus far, and i look forward to continue learning with you all.