His banner over me is love, love, love

So a friend of mine told me to listen to a sermon earlier tonight from Elevation Church where Steven Furtick is the pastor. The sermon was the first in a series about love and sex, the way God intended it as written in the Song of Solomon. Yeah, so you've heard it all before? Okay, well listen to it anyway. Go to www.elevationchurch.org Then go to Media, then Sermons, then Visionary Love and select #1. Not too complicated. If I can do it, anyone can.

The thing about this particular sermon is that Pastor Furtick so clearly expresses the incredible and beautiful nature of "visionary love." He defines the way a man should love a woman...becoming her shelter, shade, and protector. When I was listening, I was just sitting there thinking, "Yeah, right on man." The way God intends for a love relationship to be is amazing. I've never had that before--that encompassing, unconditional love, the kind that breathes new life into your soul and brings out all that is good within you. That is an experience I'm looking forward to in my life.

Now some may say, "You were married though Lex. Surely you had that." Yes, I was married, but it was a failed marriage, and it failed for a reason. Now do not think that I find myself blameless. I am as much at fault as he is. There was no infidelity, despite what the rumor mill may say. The problem from my perspective is that we were never really involved in a covenant marriage. We were roommates mostly. That's about it. Sometimes we were buddies. Husband and wife though--no. In this sermon, Pastor Furtick comments that it is better to be single and lonely than it is to be married and lonely. I would have to say that I agree. For my time being married was the loneliest, saddest time of my life. I sank down into a deep depression and allowed myself to become bitter, jaded, cynical, intolerant, impatient, unkind, merciless, and just plain mean. Never did I feel protected, cared for, sheltered, appreciated, important, beautiful, smart, or loved. I felt as though I was a convenience and a means; a way to perhaps achieve a pipe dream. I was only as good as the means I could provide. My worth was in my works and deeds not in what lay within my soul.

Listening to this message though, I am again encouraged. I see a hope for a bright future. My soul is filled with joy at the thought of a man loving me in such a way. I look forward to the day I can encourage and care for a man such as this: one who is kind and gentle, brilliant and patient, understanding and merciful, forgiving and gracious, wise and slow to anger, and above all these, loving, for love encompasses them all. Show me this man who does not need possess great wealth or beauty but who loves God first and me second. This is the man after my heart. This is the man upon whom all my hopes and dreams shall hang. There in his eyes the sun shall rise and set. His heart I will guard with my life. His honor and his good name shall be a prize above all else. For him, I shall wait.